Saturday, February 20, 2016

A Tale of Two Temples.

It's no secret that I love the temple.
But I deeply love the Provo Temple.
I love its history, I love its odd architecture, I love its holiness.
When the new Provo City Center Temple was announced, I was thrilled.
But I knew that the old Provo temple would always be "my" temple.
I  have sixteen years of spiritual history with that place and that is hard to compete with.
A few weeks ago I came to a point where I felt depleted.
I was mentally, spiritually, and physically exhausted.
One night I texted the Relief Society president and asked her to please find someone to take my volunteer shifts at the new temple open house.
I was spent and I just couldn't face them.
I decided to go ahead and do my first one, but for the others, she found replacements.
And so, before the sun came up one morning, I was inside that beautiful temple,
positioned near a stunning stain-glass window of the Savior.
My job was to point people to the exit of the tour, but I felt my real responsibility was to help people to see that window.  It was easy to miss if you weren't looking for it.
And so I found myself whispering, "Please don't miss the beautiful Savior right behind you,"
and "Don't forget to look up." 
The shift was a long five hours of  standing and smiling.
But when I left, my heart was just as swollen as my feet.  :)
As luck would have it, those same shifts I gave away, needed to be filled for someone else.
I took them.
And each day, the temple has lifted my mood, cut through this funk that I can't seem to shake,
and energized my exhausted spirit.
It was as if that temple was whispering to me, "Don't miss the Savior right there behind you, and don't forget to look up."

Provo, you do temples really well.

Friday, February 12, 2016

February 11th,1998

Eighteen years ago yesterday, Elijah was born. 
He was our first boy.
I knew he was a boy before the ultrasound. 
I also knew his name was supposed to be Elijah. 
I've never felt any "supposed to's" about any
 of my other children, but I felt it strongly with him. 
His birth was easy and the room was aglow with such sweetness after he was born.
I remember just basking in that feeling.
I also remember the first time my Grandma Brown held him. 
She whispered "There is something special about this boy."
I felt it too.

In the midst of his terrible two's I wasn't so sure about that anymore...
Every night when I put him to bed he would say, "I'm a bad boy."
"No, you aren't," I would say, "but you have to stop biting people."
"Okay," he would agree.
It took a good year to get that under control.

One day when he was four he came to me and said, "Mom, I don't know who I can marry. When I think of all the girls, you're the only one." 
I smiled knowing that feeling would go away sooner than I would want it to...

And so, on the 18th anniversary of the day he came into this world,  I am remembering that little guy who captured my heart the moment I saw him staring wide-eyed at the woman who would try with all her heart to be the mom he deserved.
I'm still trying.  

Happy Birthday Elijah-sure love you.

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Friday, February 5, 2016

From the other side...

Well hello there-
Somewhere, somehow I am returning to the land of the living...
(I don't even know what that means)
 but after an extended trip to Florida
 and then a quick drive to Texas,
 I am reentering my life.
Not sure about all of this snow but the good news is 
that January is SAYONARA
and February is 1/3 of the way done. 
Hello, spring-- which is right around the corner.
I might be getting carried away but I can't help the joy. Really.
So feel it with me--the happiness that is rebirth and renewal.
 Groundhogs RULE.