Thursday, March 21, 2019

Holy.

Last Sunday night I dropped my dad off at his "new place" for the final time that week.
That place was my sister Alicia's home- a temporary landing until he and my mom can move to Utah. After a week-long visit of being joined at the hip with the man who has been my hero for 50 plus years, it was hard.
We sat in the car for a little while, as we had done all week, while he finished telling me a story from his childhood.
A story I had heard a million times as a little girl while he tucked us in to bed.
I loved hearing it one more time.
I loved his incredulous reaction when I filled in some details that he didn't know I knew.
I loved his emotion as he told me his mother was an angel from heaven.
And I loved when he wondered out loud what he would do without me when I left.

And that is the question I have been asking ever since he began to leave.
Alzheimer's is taking him and it's the worst.

But this past week, I tried to pretend it was the best.
Spending every waking moment with him felt like a gift.
He knew me, called me by name often, and told me he loved me over and over.
We spent alot of time in the memories he can remember-
and struggled through the daily ones that he just can't.
We laughed, we cried.
It was the best.

And so I dropped him off for the last time that week and wondered what the next time would be like.
And I cried my way home because I am the luckiest, most blessed daughter.
As always, time with him leaves me changed for the better.

I love you, Dad.


My dad with his two sisters: Joan (the bride), and Janis.



With President Kimball

With my INCREDIBLE mom and their favorite past time.