Friday, December 30, 2011

What I Would Have Said If I Had Ever Shared My Testimony in 2011:

 I can remember the exact moment that I knew Jesus loved me. It was a very real, singular moment. I was desperate to know. My heart hurt so intensely that my prayer was more of a challenge than a pleading. I told God that if he was there I needed to know it, right then and there, that I couldn't just hope anymore. He answered that challenge in an immediate and beautiful way. It was life changing.

I can also remember the exact moment that I knew that I loved Him. It was a different moment in time.A couple of years later. It took me by surprise. I always thought I loved Him, but when I knew for sure, I felt it deep. I knew for certain that my spirit recognized His voice as I read His words. I knew that I had loved Him long before I came to this earthly place.

It's not easy to put into words but I get so homesick from time to time. Sometimes, I just see a picture, or sing a sacrament hymn,or read a scripture verse and my heart aches to go home. To be with Him.
I had a friend tell me once that it was morbid to want to go back to Heaven so soon.
I don't think so.

The Book of  Mormon kind of brings it all full circle to me. I love to read how intensely the prophets loved Him.  How everything they did was to prove their discipleship to Him.
I love how He continually pleads with us to come unto Him.
I feel that plea to my very core.
I try to make the atonement count every single day of my life.
Jesus Christ loves me and that knowledge has made all the difference in the world to me.
I live to be with Him again, whenever that may be.

This is my testimony. Whether I speak it out loud or not.